


homin | 노을... 바라보다 (picture of you)

by plincess_cho (ai_hao)



Category: DBSK | Tohoshinki | TVfXQ | TVXQ, SM Rookies, Super Junior
Genre: Author: Ai, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-23
Updated: 2016-02-23
Packaged: 2018-05-22 18:37:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,239
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6090324
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ai_hao/pseuds/plincess_cho
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Changmin and Yunho visit Yunho's parents in Gwangju during their first hiatus.</p>
            </blockquote>





	homin | 노을... 바라보다 (picture of you)

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by this: http://plincess-cho.tumblr.com/post/139636452644/shim-jung-love-quotiens-yes-you-did-and

Changmin stood at the doorway to Yunho’s family home and wondered if he’d made a colossal mistake by coming. When Yunho asked if he wanted to come along, he was about to say no. He didn’t want to spend the night with Yunho’s family talking about _it_. He wanted to stay in, get drunk, and cry in the comfort of the empty dorm. But when he looked up, he saw Yunho standing in the doorway looking forlorn and dejected.

Before a few weeks ago, Changmin had never seen Yunho looking anything other than happy. Sure, there were those days where they were all exhausted or weary, but Yunho never complained. After a hard practice, Changmin would collapse into a chair and moan about being tired, but Yunho was always there to hoist him up and praise his hard work. Yunho, ever the optimist, would remind them all about what they were working for and how all of their trials would be worth it in the end.

Then, _it_ happened. _The thing. The incident._ When they heard the news about the other three leaving, Changmin watched as Yunho’s expression changed from neutral to an expression Changmin had never seen before: _hopeless._ After that, it was like all the light had gone out from him. Practices were suspended until further notice, so Changmin often found Yunho sitting on the couch in the living room. He would say nothing nor acknowledge Changmin went he walked in. Instead, he would just stare at the wall and open another bottle of beer, as if that held the answers to the questions spinning in his head.

So Changmin had accepted Yunho’s invitation. He’d met Yunho’s family numerous times before when they’d come to Seoul, but he’d never been down to Gwangju to see where he grew up. He kicked himself for that: of course Yunho had been to see _his_ parents. It was easier taking the metro across town to their apartment. Yunho had brought the biggest basket of fruit Changmin had ever seen, and his parents had fallen even more in love with him. Changmin realized he would have to pick up something on the way to the train station.

Except they hadn’t gone to the train station. “Too many people,” Yunho had explained briefly. Instead, they’d gone to the Super Junior dorms to borrow Donghae’s car. Leeteuk had been there, and while Donghae explained about the new features the car had, Changmin saw Leeteuk pull Yunho aside.

“Are you sure you’re okay to drive?” he’d heard Leeteuk ask.

“Yes. Changmin will be with me.”

“Be safe. Promise me, you’ll be safe.”

And they’d headed off.

For the first few hours, they didn’t talk at all. Yunho stared straight ahead at the road while Changmin looked out the window as the scenery changed from the hustle and bustle of Seoul to the sprawling countryside. They’d stopped for gas about midway, and Yunho had bought them both energy drinks for the rest of the drive and a basket of fruit for his parents. That’s when he’d finally started talking, pointing out landmarks here and there.

And now, here they were. Yunho pressed the buzzer and instantly the front door clicked open, allowing them entry. Changmin followed behind Yunho as they made their way up the stairs to the third floor, lugging the fruit basket with him. Yunho raised his hand to knock, but the door opened before he had a chance. His mother immediately pulled him into her arms and held him close, already crying into his shirtsleeve. Changmin stood awkwardly in the hallway. He felt like he was intruding on a private moment that he wasn’t meant to see, but soon Mama Jung had passed Yunho off to his father and sister and reached for Changmin next. He had to awkwardly juggle the basket of fruit to hug her, but somehow they managed.

Dinner was a veritable feast of all the things Changmin had heard Yunho talk incessantly about. Throughout the meal, they didn’t talk about _it_ at all. To Changmin’s amusement, the whole thing seemed like an average family having a normal dinner. Yunho asked his parents about their work and his sister about her studies, and told stories of all the good things that had happened in Seoul. The good things. Only the good things. Yunho didn’t want them to worry about him more than they already did.

“How are your parents, Changmin?” Mama Jung asked.

“They’re well,” Changmin replied after swallowing a particularly large hunk of strawberry cake. “They send their greetings.”

“I’ll be traveling to Seoul next week to meet with…” Papa Jung’s voice trailed off and he hurriedly coughed awkwardly. “Er, your father and the management.”

“Why?” Yunho asked. “What’s happened now?”

“After dinner, son,” his father replied.

Changmin offered to help clear the dishes, but Yunho’s mother wouldn’t hear of it. She shooed him out of the kitchen, smiling as he complimented her cooking finesse.

 _Pity Yunho didn’t inherit any of this from his mother,_ Changmin thought to himself.

Yunho and his father had disappeared behind closed doors, probably to discuss the upcoming meeting in Seoul. Changmin made a note to ask his father about it upon their return to Seoul.

He didn’t particularly want to intrude on Yunho now, so he busied himself by examining the photos hanging around the home. He chuckled at a shot of tiny Yunho holding an ice cream cone nearly bigger than himself. It wasn’t hard to imagine Yunho as a child. Changmin could easily picture him stuffing his mouth with sweets, leaving his toys all over, and happily running into his mother’s arms at the end of the school day.

As Changmin made his way around the family room looking at photos, he spotted a frame leaning against a bookcase. He picked it up and found it to be one of those collage frames meant for several photographs. This one had seven spaces for different snapshots, but only three of the frames were filled. Two of the photos were solo shots of Yunho holding a trophy, beaming broadly at the camera. The third was a photo of Yunho and Changmin. Peering at the photo, Changmin realized this particular shot was from their trip to Paris.

They’d found a little café because Changmin had been _starving._ Nobody knew what to order because surprise, none of them spoke French. Yunho had done some pointing and smiling and had procured Changmin a crepe. Changmin chuckled to himself. Of course Yunho would choose that photo. The photo showed a very proud Yunho with his arm around a finally contented Changmin with his half-eaten crepe and powdered sugar on his cheek. Yunho had _loved_ Paris. He’d loved the food, he’d loved wandering around looking at all the art, and he’d loved the five of them just hanging out together.

_The five._

Now Changmin realized what the missing photos were. The largest photo in the middle probably was a group shot, while the three smaller ones were most likely Yunho with the other members. _Ex-members,_ he reminded himself. It was still weird.

“Oh, Changmin,” Mama Jung’s voice interrupted his thoughts. He hurriedly put the frame down and turned around. “Let me show you where you’ll be staying.” He grabbed his bag and she led him down the hallway to a door on the left. “This is Yunho’s room.”

“Thank you,” he replied.

Yunho’s room was small and surprisingly tidy, though Changmin assumed it was able to stay that way only because Yunho was never there. Changmin set his bag down and looked around at the walls. They were covered with posters of now familiar faces: H.O.T., Shinhwa, even BoA. Changmin snickered to himself as he pulled out his phone to snap a photo. Wait til she heard about this. The shutter clicked right before the door opened again.

“Nice… decorating,” Changmin remarked.

Yunho’s face turned pink. “Every time I come home, I ask my parents why they haven’t changed my room.” He looked up at the H.O.T. poster. “I wanted to be like them, y’know. They all were my idols growing up, and I wanted so badly to be just like them.”

_Wanted._

Changmin watched as Yunho’s shoulders sagged and his face dropped. He could imagine Yunho staring up at the posters every night before bed, dreaming of standing on stage like the others. He remembered Yunho telling them about being homeless while training, about how he’d carry around photos of the artists he loved as a reminder of what he was working towards.

What he was working towards that now had been ripped away.

_Or had it?_

Yunho had worked so hard for so long, and seeing him stare up at those posters with such longing, such _anguish_ for what had been ripped away from him made Changmin’s insides churn with anger. He wanted to hunt down the others and force them to apologize to _explain_ themselves as they watched the light go out of Yunho until there was nothing left.

Yunho tore his gaze away from the posters and cleared his throat roughly. “Uh, I’ll get out the sleeping mats if you want to use the bathroom first.”

“Okay,” Changmin replied. The apologies would have to wait.

*

In the deep hours of the night, Changmin woke up to the sound of muffled crying coming from the figure next to him. He opened his eyes a crack and saw the dark outline of Yunho’s shoulders shaking. He’d seen Yunho cry plenty of times, but never since _the thing._ He’d been dry-eyed and stony ever since that day, but now, here he was, sobbing into his pillow where no one else could see.

No one else except for Changmin.

While pretending to be still asleep, Changmin snaked his arms around Yunho and pulled him close, burying his nose into Yunho’s back. Yunho immediately tensed up and said softly, “Changmin?”

But Changmin didn’t reply. Instead, he held onto Yunho until he felt his body relax against Changmin’s. Changmin tried to keep his breathing steady, like one in a deep sleep, but he clung tightly to Yunho.

Seeing the posters, talking with his parents, remembering all of his dreams… Changmin wasn’t letting Yunho slip away. He’d fight for this if it took everything he had.

*

They were sitting in the study in some guy’s ultra swanky apartment while filming for yet another show. Eunhyuk and Leeteuk were talking with the Soshi girls, and Changmin suspected that Leeteuk was trying to put the moves on one if not both of them. He chuckled. Some things never changed.

But then the MC asked them how often they went home. Changmin gave some stock answer about being busy and something else about how he really should go home more often, but Yunho’s answer was different.

“I only go home once a year,” he said. “And my parents kept my room exactly as it was before my debut. I get embarrassed when I see it because there are still posters of all of my idols up on the walls. H.O.T., Shinhwa, and even BoA.” He chuckled to himself, and Changmin held back a laugh. He never had shown Boa the photo. She’d probably laugh it off as Yunho’s ears turned a deep shade of red.

But then Yunho continued, “Though now, I do feel a little pride while looking at them. The feeling like ‘Ah, I became one of them too’.”

Changmin tried to fight the lump in his throat but was increasingly unsuccessful. He took a sip of water and started coughing as it went down the wrong way. Yunho gave him a resounding thump on the back and Changmin excused himself. He hurried to the bathroom and finally swallowed hard to stop the coughing.

Yunho’s words still rang in his ears. _Ah, I became one of them too._

They’d made it.

*

Changmin sneaked in the back of the set where they were filming the music video for Yunho’s solo “Champagne.” An increasingly large part of him was glad that he wouldn’t appear at all in his own solo video. It would be weird filming without Yunho, weird filming by himself, and weird filming for something they’d never perform live. Instead, he found a chair and plopped himself down to watch Yunho waltz across the stage in a variety of costumes for the shoot.

He went back to chat with him during a break and finally found him in the dressing room talking with Jisung, one of the rookies who would be in the video. The two were bent over a table, and when Yunho finally stood up, Changmin realized he’d been signing one of their posters. Jisung rolled it up and slid it gently into a tube for safekeeping. “Thank you, hyung,” he said with an abrupt bow.

Yunho smiled warmly. “Keep working hard and you’ll do well, kiddo.”

Changmin watched as Jisung tucked the tube into his duffel bag and hid the bag behind some others. He could only imagine Jisung going back to the rookie dorms and hanging the poster up on his wall and dreaming of one day becoming an idol.

Just like Yunho had.

They had made it. They succeeded. And now, they were inspiring the next set of kids to grow up and achieve their dreams.

“Oh, Changmin!” Yunho called, spotting him. “What’d you think?”

“It’ll be great, hyung.” _Really._

**Author's Note:**

> Sadly this didn't turn out how I wanted >.


End file.
